


Dreadfully Yours

by moonfics



Category: bts
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Enemies to Lovers, Exes to Lovers, M/M, Rain, Roommates, Thunderstorms, angsty
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-29
Updated: 2020-06-29
Packaged: 2021-03-03 23:00:55
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,164
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24973489
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/moonfics/pseuds/moonfics
Summary: what do you do when your ex-boyfriend knocks on your door at 3AM during a thunderstorm asking to stay the night because his apartment flooded?
Relationships: Kim Namjoon | RM/Kim Taehyung | V
Kudos: 31





	Dreadfully Yours

dreadful

/ˈdrɛdfʊl,ˈdrɛdf(ə)l/

_ adjective _

adjective:  **dreadful**

  * 1.  
causing or involving great suffering, fear, or unhappiness; extremely bad or serious.  
"there's been a dreadful accident"



There are a lot of dreadful things in life that one comes to experience--or eventually face.

Such as when you’re late to class and stand by the entrance door a couple of minutes, bracing yourself for the upcoming judgement looks you’re about to insignificantly earn from classmates.

Such as when you grab the new mail from its metal box and pray to not see any letters that will only drain your bank account.

Such as when you hide under the bed covers that not only keep you warm but hopefully also keep you safe from the unholy storm that takes its devastating place in the outside world--strong winds banging against the glasses that cover the windows of the apartment all around.

Or even better--when you hear a rather frantic knock on your door when said storm is taking place--each lightning striking your ears loudly and painfully.

Dreadful.

That’s how Taehyung would easily describe the random thread of events that lead up to the composure of his life, most certainly--dreadful.

His body aches with pure exhaustion as he carefully tip toes onto the entrance of his apartment--wooden floorboards creaking within each light step that he took, contrasting easily with the storm that took its freeing place outside.

His brown hair mixed with green streaks covers half of his sight as he opens up the door, too tired to scream out questioning whom was to be found on the other side. But perhaps he should’ve--his chest tightening and throat clogging ever so easily as his widened eyes lay on the sight of the person who was outside on the other side of the door that was now opened to reveal him.

_ “You’re being stupid, Taehyung.” Namjoon sighed--creases developed in his forehead as he slid the palms of his hands through his face in the depths of frustration, words uneasy as they escaped his quivering lips, “Stop.” _

_ However--as much as Namjoon wished, his words didn’t control the cold reality. It sunk on him as he watched the glassy tears roll themselves down his lover’s cheek. What struck him the most, nonetheless, was the way Taehyung’s gaze filled itself with nothing but pure anguish. Pain. _

_ Pain. _

_ Pain that Namjoon wouldn’t be able to take away.  _

_ Not if he wanted to keep his word. _

_ Not if he wanted to remain an honest soul--a trustworthy person to those around him. _

Taehyung’s throat closes up momentarily as he reality dawns on him--the sound of the heavy rain outside clouding his mind alongside Namjoon’s dripping wet body, hair stuck to his forehead and clothes transparent onto his skin.

The latter felt cold just by looking at the taller boy.

“Namjoon?” Taehyung mumbled in slight disbelief as he stared at the wet boy, “What… What are you doing here?”

Namjoon cleared his throat as his shaky hands attempted to adjust his watery, messy hair--brown leather jacket clinging onto his body as he gathered all of his strengths in order to seem rather emotionless as his eyes finally met Taehyung’s.

“Hey--Uh, can I come in?” Namjoon pursed his lips as his jaw tightened due to Taehyung’s lack of response.

The younger still rather unsure as to how he should respond--his body seemingly against cooperation with his mind that seemed to run a hundred miles a second. It’s not like Taehyung thought he would never meet Namjoon again--perhaps it simply hadn’t settled in yet.

Given that he still woke up and longed for his touch, craved for his smile and the way he would embrace Taehyung’s figure into his own, making him feel nothing but comfortingly small and held.

Purely safe.

Perhaps that was also why Taehyung’s fear of storms was more intense this time around, no one to hold him or whisper sweet poetry into his ear instead of the lousy wind occupying his mind.

“Uh, yeah. Sure.” Taehyung cleared his own throat after a moment of hesitation, his grey oversized sweater engulfing his body as he closed the wooden door behind Namjoon--he ignored the way his chest continued to tighten the more the older’s presence became prominent.

It was odd.

Namjoon’s effects on the boy were always to be found odd.

Taehyung was always known to be the class clown in high school, and if one was to assume that he would lose such reputation as he moved on to college--they would be fairly wrong. He had never lost his sense of extrovertedness--throwing parties every chance he got and seemingly glad that his scholarship plus side job at the bar were enough for him to not be in need of a roommate.

Excluding when it came to nights like these--the bitter loneliness and stormy rage providing him nothing but longing for someone.

Someone was no one but Namjoon.

It had always been Namjoon.

Namjoon was a chatter name, everyone seemed to know who he was when Taehyung had first arrived. He had heard all types of stories and rumors, the fact that he was older only reinforced his intimidating stature.

Namjoon was known to be--if one dared to say, a leveled up version of Taehyung. He’d attend every party and carried his characteristic cigarette in between his pretty lips. His shoulders always hugged by a heavy leather jacket and voice deep and eloquent. He wasn’t one to talk much, however his words always served enough.

He was scary.

Taehyung was friendly--to the majority.

Both on the same side of the coin.

Taehyung isn’t sure what exactly attracted Namjoon to him. He didn’t understand what made him stand out in Namjoon’s mysterious sight of the world. 

Perhaps it was the green streaks in his hair. Or his extravagant parties that always ended in tragedy with cops knocking on his door. Or for his shamelessness. Or the way he still carried the essence of an angsty teen--perhaps it had become a trait of his own.

One that Namjoon grew to adore. He scolded him lightly from time to time, calling his lover a brat--but it always seemed to end in an innocent head shake and rolling of eyes, met by Taehyung’s soft strawberry lips attaching to his own.

_ “Taehyung--” _

_ “You know, if you don’t like me anymore--you can… You can just say it, you know?” Taehyung cried--his voice filled with ache as it strained itself in his throat, blurry vision attempted to focus on the taller boy as they both felt the tension grow between them, the moon illuminating them both within such contrast, “Just fucking tell me, you asshole--” _

_ “You know it’s not that, for fuck’s sake.” Namjoon sighed in desperation--he ignored the way his heart stung, feeling utterly helpless. It’s not like he didn’t have a choice, he did. _

_ Taehyung, or his morals. _

_ Namjoon knew that at the end of the day it wasn’t that easy. _

_ “Then what is it? Why can’t you just talk to me?” Taehyung gritted through his teeth as the tears continued to shamelessly fall down his cheeks--a pitiful sight.  _

_ “I told you,” Namjoon gulped as he licked his lips, did his utter best to ignore the way his eyes became glassy as he attempted to approach the younger boy. Reach for his touch, something--only to be rejected as Taehyung took a step further back into the cold sidewalk in the empty street, “I can’t.... I can’t say. It’s--” _

_ “Complicated?” Taehyung snorted, his head nodding lightly in disbelief, or pain--perhaps both. Neither putting the latter at ease one bit. “Yeah, you’ve said.” _ __   
  


Taehyung licks his bottom lip as he provides his ex-lover with a blanket that had been previously draped over his beige couch--hoping that the latter would come to warm temperature rather quickly.

As childish as the young boy could come to be sometimes, he found himself mindlessly worrying over his once upon a time lover’s health more often than not. Something that the older did take a secret liking to, but never exposed such feelings.

Not in time for their hearts to be broken evenly, at the very least.

“Do you, uh, want something to drink? Or eat?” Taehyung gulped dryly in attempts to not make their unexpected encounter all the more awkward--the two boys not having laid their eyes on each other for more than two months now except around campus rather rarely.

Properly so--that cold night in the middle of the street had been the last time. Stingingly so.

“No--No, it’s fine.” Namjoon’s rough voice spoke rather tiredly as he sat down on the couch, silently glad for the warmth provided to him, “I’m sorry to just… come here. My apartment got flooded--you lived the closest by. I had nowhere to go.”

Taehyung blinked in silence for a moment--ignoring the odd feeling that grew at the pit of his stomach, Namjoon’s mere presence was enough for him to become less scared of the raging storm outside. The raindrops that fell onto his window becoming more prominent instead.

“Oh,” The green haired boy gulped, “Shit, that… sucks.” He mumbled, silently cursing and despising how the atmosphere between the two had turned into such a bittersweet wave of unspoken memories washing through. They were right there.

Namjoon sitting on the couch they used to make out in for hours on end listening to Cigarrettes After Sex.

The blanket that hugged his cold body the same that he would always use to cover Taehyung every time he would fall asleep on his lap while he worked.

The wet, brown, leather jacket that hugged Namjoon’s body the same one that Taehyung adored to steal and wear to popular parties--making sure everyone knew who he belonged to. Who he called to call his.

“Yeah,” Namjoon breathed out as he scratched the back of his wet haired head--Taehyung ignored how attractive he looked, “I was wondering if I could just, uh, stay for the night? I promise I’ll leave first thing in the morning. It’s just--it’s late, and--”

“Namjoon,” Taehyung interrupted, voice almost pleading and soft as the words escaped his sorrowful lips--the pain in his eyes making itself known as it reflected onto the older’s, “You can stay. It’s fine.”

It wasn’t fine.

He missed him.

He longed for him.

He ached for him.

It wasn’t fine.

“Thank you.”

_ “You’ve been ditching and ignoring me and for what--for some guy?” Taehyung chuckled humorlessly as his voice quavered--feeling no longer strengthened enough to keep himself composed as he felt his chest collapse. _

_ The one person who has ever made him feel wanted. Cared for. _

_ Loved. _

_ Seamlessly slipping through his fingers. _

_ “He’s not some guy, he’s my friend.” Namjoon pleaded--beating himself up silently for not being able to come up with a way to properly explain the situation without jeopardizing anything. _

_ But it was deemed rather impossible. _

_ “Even better, fuck.” Taehyung rolled his teary eyes bitterly, “Your friend. Your friend… You know, if your friend always comes before me--” _

_ “You’re being unfair--” _

_ “Then why don’t you just date him, instead.”  _

_ “Taehyung--” _

_ “Unfair?” Taehyung echoed incredulously, the mere sight tearing Namjoon down piece by piece, growing to hate himself for how helpless he felt--watching as the boy he loved developed hatred for him, “I’m being unfair? You know… You know how insecure I get, you know… You know me. You told me… You told me you loved me--” _

_ “I do love you.” Namjoon rose his voice for the first time that night--or for the first time ever since Taehyung had known him. The taller boy had always been known for his calm and collected demeanor which Taehyung grew to adore, even in their small, petty fights--the latter never once had raised his voice. _

_ Not like this. _

_ “Then why won’t you talk to me?” Taehyung cried--tears growing cold alongside the nightly breeze that embraced both of their broken bodies, “Why won’t you reassure me? Why keep ditching me without reason? Leaving me to wake up to an empty bed with weeks on end? Why--Jesus, why?” _

_ Dreadful. _

_ That’s what Namjoon’s next wave of silence had felt. _

_ Dreadful. _

_ “I just… I can’t.” Namjoon whispered--knowing he was choosing to keep his word. Keep his truth. “I’m sorry.” _

_ Slowly breaking within each breath he took as he watched Taehyung purse his lips and nod slowly after a moment--the tears becoming painfully mute. _

_ One heartbeat passed. _

_ Two heartbeats passed. _

_ “Well I wish you two a happy future.” Taehyung spit, voice groggy and exhausted as he watched Namjoon’s pained expression deepen. _

_ “Tae--” _

_ “I should’ve listened when my friends warned me about you.”  _

_ Were the last words exchanged between the two before Taehyung walked away his bitter tears cascading down his cheeks and messed up hair. _


End file.
